Wohooo!

So my gut feeling was right. Showed on the ultrasound today that I ovulated all on my own. Which means no IUI, but we are hoping we have our bases covered anyway. My Dr said its actually better to O on your own instead of having to trigger. He said the outcome is usually better. I have a good feeling, but at the same time, I wonder if I am setting myself up for disappointment if it doesn't happen.
Anyways, its just crazy that my body did what it was supposed to! That is so rare with PCOS...normally it just doesn't want to do anything. My Dr also ran some blood tests on me for blood clotting issues, because apparently I forgot to tell him about my sister! But he had me start also on baby Aspirin just to be sure that is not a problem.
So prayers are appreciated. I hope its our turn for a healthy sticky baby. But at least this cycle was a good one, no matter the outcome. :)

Where's my Crystal Ball??

This to me is THE most frustrating part of having PCOS, and going through infertility treatments. Because PCOS can cause positive ovulation strips, because the hormone that makes the strips go positive in normal women, is messed up in women with PCOS and can cause positive strips even when you aren't going to ovulate.
So, I got a positive yesterday, I am inclined to believe it because of feelings in my uterus area, sore chest, and its around the time my eggs usually are ready to be triggered. Usually I would be having a Doctor's appointment today which is CD 14, but he is closed today, so I will be going in tomorrow. As far as I am concerned based on what I am feeling, we won't be having an IUI this cycle. I really think its to late, he's going to see I already ovulated and we missed our chance. I could be wrong and it wouldn't be the first or the last time, but I have really learned to listen to my body...
I am really okay if that is how it turns out, I mean normally I need the trigger shot to get the eggs out because they just don't want to come out. But, it does make me feel like I could be wasting time and money with this doctor since timing is everything with infertility treatments. This has been a really weird cycle anyway, because I didn't have a true AF. It was mostly just spotting. And there is a part of me that wonders if I ended up Oing earlier, because I have been feeling really weird lately. I remember when I was pregnant last year, one of the first things I remember feeling was that there was like a rock in my uterus...and I am feeling that again....but it also could just be my diet has been HORRIBLE lately...
Anyhow, guess we will see what the Doctor says tomorrow. I will be sure to update when I know what's going on. :)

It still hurts....bad.

Tonight was a rough night, here are 2 projects that led to said rough night.

First to the left, I pulled out all of my "baby" stuff. Most of it was from the last pregnancy. I got a bunch of baby clothes from my sister since she is done with having babies. So I have known for awhile I needed to go through it. Also had my Expecting book, and my 2 maternity shirts I cursed myself by buying (....). The second is a scrapbook page I knew I have wanted to do for about a month now. I needed to document it, and make sure some of my ultrasound pictures were safe. I was very surprised by how hard this still is...even after almost a year. I went down to the basement to pull it all out, and I couldn't catch my breath. I am very melancholy now, which I knew would happen. Its especially hard when we are going through IF treatments again. In less then a week now, I will be heading to the doctor, and for some reason I have a feeling its not going to be good news. But I know that its the name of the game... Just a rough night...and I am so ready for the weekend, I just wish there was going to be SUN. Please Spring come...sometime soon??

Messing with my MIND

So I was a relaxed and okay about this cycle. Realizing it might take a few tries before anything happens. But glad to be back to TTC. All the sudden I am on an emotional roller coaster! I have been dreaming about babies, day dreaming about babies, looking at baby clothes sometimes when we go to the store...I am SUPER emotional, which is throwing DH off his groove. I am just chalking it up to how the Femara works, since I think I remember reading it makes you produce more estrogen. But, I really hate this out of control feeling with my emotions. I am so praying that this is the year for a healthy baby for us...it is hard, I will admit, to get my hopes completely up. I am trying hard to be brave and courageous, but its hard. Especially after going through a loss, it takes the innocence of pregnancy away. At least it has for me. Anyhow, 1 week for today we will be finding out what the egg(s) are doing, if there are any. Praying there is, and that we can time the IUI well (this has been a problem with my Dr). Have a wonderful rest of the week readers! :)

Who am I?

Sometimes I get so into documenting my infertility journey, (and complaining about it!) that I forget that most of you don't even really know ME. Like the real me. So here are just some fun things you might or might know about me.

#1 I am the youngest of 5, I only have one sister the rest are brothers. I am an aunt of 17 (almost 18) nieces and nephews. They are some of the best parts of my life.

#2 I only kissed one boy in my whole life. I have only had one boyfriend my whole life. I have only held hands with one boy in my whole life. That would be my wonderful hubby.

#3 I love to laugh. I love to be silly, and say the most random things. I also love to make faces in pictures.

#4 I love Disneyland and everything Disney related. If we don't have kids in the next few years, we will be moving to California and becoming Annual Pass holders.

#5 I love video games, especially RPG's. My favorite RPG is Kingdom Hearts (of course). I love to play video games with my hubby, even though it can get crazy because we are both very competitive. :)

Well that's a little bit about me. Hopefully it helps you all to get to know me better. I will try to do some of these a little more often, just so you can all get to know me besides knowing I'm an infertile.

Here we go...

I start my Femara tonight. So any prayers, or positive thoughts would be appreciated!!! I will post again soon. :)

Overwhelmed

Now that our vacation is over, I am looking at starting the infertility road and I am just overwhelmed by the emotions that I have been experiencing. There is a lot of fear and anxiety. A lot of memories of the miscarriage last year. Feelings of guilt that I have gained weight, and that I haven't been very good about taking some of my meds lately. Also just so much fear that this process won't result in another pregnancy. That last year was just some crazy miracle that will never happen again.
There is hope, but really more anxiety then anything else.
CD 1 is just about here...I will keep you all posted. :)