Winner and what's new!

Okay the winner of the jewelry is...

HOLLY!!!

You have until Wednesday at 6 PM MST to contact me, my email is over on the right hand side, if not I will redraw! Come back again, I will be doing more of these for sure!!!

In what's new, Nate and I went to an Infertility seminar on Saturday. They started doing these annually last year, and they have always been great. Last year they focused more on the medical side of infertility, this time they focused more on the emotional side.

Some of the things that stuck out for me were:

* Mindfulness. This one is huge for me. I often try to think of terms of the future. I very rarely can get myself to relax and enjoy the here and now. Especially when it comes to infertility. I feel like I am always trying to live in the future and that's not even possible! So I will be working on that.

* Spouse. Remembering that your spouse is the one constant you can count on IF you remember to work on your marriage. Babies may come, they may not, but your spouse can always be there for you.

* Treatments? Having an open discussion about what you and your spouse are okay with as far as treatments. Donated sperm? Donated egg? Embryo adoption? IVF? I have always felt DH and I were pretty much on the same page here but it was nice to really lay out there again.

* Stress. They have done studies and found out that some women dealing with infertility can have as much stress as someone diagnosed with a life threatening illness. This was just amazing to me when I heard this. Because my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and struggled with it for a year or two and there was a lot of stress there. It also makes me feel like I am not so crazy...because there are times where I feel like I have a life threatening illness even though I really don't!

* Gender Differences. They talked a lot about the differences in coping for men and women. It was really a good refresher.

* Laughter. They talked about how important and beneficial it is to laugh, and laugh together.

These are just a few of the things they talked about. It was just awesome, and its always amazing to me to see how infertility effects EVERYONE. There were all kinds of different people there. The couple sitting down from us during the last speaker I would have NEVER picked out of crowd to have infertility. But that's the sad thing about this disease. It effects people in all walks of life, and all over the world!

So, hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful spring day (at least here it is finally!) :)

Giveaway time!!!

Sorry I didn't get this posted last night! I ended up having a really late night with some of my awesome friends from high school. It was a really fun night.
So the giveaway. It is a necklace and some earrings. I made both of them, they are so cute though! I really think whoever wins them will love them. If you can't tell the earrings are purple on the bottom.
So leave a comment to enter, I will pick a winner on Sunday at 6PM MST! Good luck! :)

Giveaway and half way through the dread...

I am half way through the dreaded 2 ww...and let me tell you. I can say with almost 100% certainty this month is not THE ONE! We are trying very hard to get an appointment set with a new doctor, because I am not going through what I went through with this cycle again. I refuse to not have an IUI next month.
So, in horrible news, my jeans no longer fit. Man I cannot believe this, but I am back in my Lane Bryant jeans and I just want to CRY. Its weird because I am only about 10 pounds heavier then I was, but I am not fitting in clothes very easy anymore...
But in GREAT news! Be on the lookout for my giveaway. And this not just for infertiles, its ANYONE who reads my blog, this will just be a fun thing, not infertility specific. I am probably going to start doing these more regularly, so its a great reason to read my blog! :) So, look for it tomorrow! Wohoooo! :)

GIVEAWAY!!!

I have decided to do a giveaway sometime this week to all my wonderful readers! So stay tuned for that. And please read the blog below! RESOLVE had all infertility bloggers unite to bust myth's about infertility! :)

"Just relax and you'll get pregnant."

As I sit here in the middle of all these people I don't know, I intentionally avoid eye contact with everyone. An inner dialogue rages on in my mind. I have heard this dialogue thousands of times before. It always goes something like this:
"You don't belong here."
"You know they look at you different."
or
"You have nothing in common with these people."
Inevitably someone recognizes I am new here. As they make their way over to me, I feel my suit of armor latch into place, especially protecting my heart. Its been damaged before, so the armor around it is very thick.
After the normal pleasantries of where we live, where we are from, and our names, the conversation, like always become more pointed and probing questions into our personal life.
"How long have you been married?"
"Seven years."
"Any kids?"
"No, but we are hoping soon."
"Oh just relax, and it will happen."
There it is. The unsolicited advice. The usually well intentioned, but uneducated advice.
In my perfect world, there would be nothing wrong with screaming at them something like this:

"Did you know I have a disease that prevents my body from ovulating? Did you know I have to constantly work on ovulating? Something your body does all on its own, and you don't even have to think about it? That you would NOT be relaxed if you were in my position, that you would be far from it? And you are telling me in all seven years that I have been begging and pleading the universe to send me my own little bundle of joy that I have never been relaxed?? And I wonder, would you say these words to someone who had cancer, a heart problem or someone with diabetes? Just relax and this disease will take care of itself?? No...."

But instead I screw on my fake smile and just nod until they inevitably drift back into the crowd. The crowd where I feel an outcast because I can't join in the conversations of delivery and the trials of raising a child. No. I do not belong here.
I use this story to educate other out there. If someone you meet says something similar to you, the best advice is always just to show support and love. How different would this story have ended if this person had said
"I hope its soon for you too."
Unsolicited advice, no matter the subject, is NEVER welcome. And its never received well.

Quick Facts
* Infertility affects approximately 10% of the population.
* Only 15 states have a state mandate requiring insurance companies to cover infertility claims. Whereas most insurances will cover a mother giving birth, for all her appointments and delivery. * Every year thousands of these couples spend THOUSANDS of dollars on treatments that may yield no child.
* There are far reaching consequences to not building a family (in any way), such as who will take care of you when you are old?? These are questions that run through even the young and childless minds at times.
* Couples with infertility feel isolated, alone, and broken most of the time. Even by friends and family. They need to be included the same way as they would be if they had children.

To find out more on infertility and its meaning go to RESOLVE's website here.
To learn about RESOLVE's Infertility Week visit here.

Wohooo!

So my gut feeling was right. Showed on the ultrasound today that I ovulated all on my own. Which means no IUI, but we are hoping we have our bases covered anyway. My Dr said its actually better to O on your own instead of having to trigger. He said the outcome is usually better. I have a good feeling, but at the same time, I wonder if I am setting myself up for disappointment if it doesn't happen.
Anyways, its just crazy that my body did what it was supposed to! That is so rare with PCOS...normally it just doesn't want to do anything. My Dr also ran some blood tests on me for blood clotting issues, because apparently I forgot to tell him about my sister! But he had me start also on baby Aspirin just to be sure that is not a problem.
So prayers are appreciated. I hope its our turn for a healthy sticky baby. But at least this cycle was a good one, no matter the outcome. :)

Where's my Crystal Ball??

This to me is THE most frustrating part of having PCOS, and going through infertility treatments. Because PCOS can cause positive ovulation strips, because the hormone that makes the strips go positive in normal women, is messed up in women with PCOS and can cause positive strips even when you aren't going to ovulate.
So, I got a positive yesterday, I am inclined to believe it because of feelings in my uterus area, sore chest, and its around the time my eggs usually are ready to be triggered. Usually I would be having a Doctor's appointment today which is CD 14, but he is closed today, so I will be going in tomorrow. As far as I am concerned based on what I am feeling, we won't be having an IUI this cycle. I really think its to late, he's going to see I already ovulated and we missed our chance. I could be wrong and it wouldn't be the first or the last time, but I have really learned to listen to my body...
I am really okay if that is how it turns out, I mean normally I need the trigger shot to get the eggs out because they just don't want to come out. But, it does make me feel like I could be wasting time and money with this doctor since timing is everything with infertility treatments. This has been a really weird cycle anyway, because I didn't have a true AF. It was mostly just spotting. And there is a part of me that wonders if I ended up Oing earlier, because I have been feeling really weird lately. I remember when I was pregnant last year, one of the first things I remember feeling was that there was like a rock in my uterus...and I am feeling that again....but it also could just be my diet has been HORRIBLE lately...
Anyhow, guess we will see what the Doctor says tomorrow. I will be sure to update when I know what's going on. :)