You know, I thought I would be feeling better (nerves, anxiety wise) around now. But honestly I feel just as worried as I did on day one. I ended up buying a doppler, it got here yesterday. We heard the heartbeat very faintly, but I have decided I am going to put it away for another week or two. We tried to find it again this morning, and I just think that the way my body is my uterus is just in there too deep. Makes me sad, but I am also trying to realize at some point I just need to let go and realize I can stress and worry all I want and it won't change any outcome.
It is so hard not to just talk myself in to calling my Dr to see me. But like I have said before, I know I can't keep doing that. Its not fair to him or his staff.
I really hope at some point I start to just enjoy this pregnancy more then the worries. I think once I start feeling that baby that will be the only thing that keeps me half sane. But I am a good 6-8 weeks from that as far as I know.
2 weeks from tomorrow is my next appointment. I just cannot wait. It seems so long away!!
I so appreciate those that are praying for us.
Don't worry too much about the doppler - it's actually pretty common that they don't pick up the heartbeat all the time. It depends on where your placenta is and the position the baby is in at any given time. You'll probably be able to hear it more consistently as baby gets bigger, so you are smart to put it away for a little longer I think.
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