Just some things on my mind. First of all, I started taking my blood sugars yesterday. So far they are fine and in the normal range. So I am praying this is saying I don't truly have Gestational Diabetes, that I just need to watch what I eat a bit better. I am taking my blood sugars 4 times a day, and I am just praying that they cut that number down once they see how good my numbers are. I know I need to do it for my baby, but it's hard.
Also we just passed being under 3 months. Now that things are getting closer, I am getting really nervous and scared about the actual labor part. It's just one of those things that is new and scary. I trust my Dr and the nurses I had at the hospital when I went in awhile ago were so nice. But I am scared of the pain of delivery and also of recovery. And that leads me to another thought, I wish my Mom was here. I really am basically going through this all alone. I am going to have rely on DH after baby gets here, but he can only take off about a week of work. If I am still having a lot of pain after that, I don't know what I am going to do!
I also am scared of having an infant in my care all the time! I mean I am excited for it, but scared. If he turns out to be mean or anything it's MY fault...that's a lot of responsibility! I also just feel unprepared for breast feeding and all those things that will be new too.
I get a weekly email about the baby, and I just looked at it and it said 13 weeks...that seems so SHORT! Like suddenly I feel like I have so much to do! I have been thinking of it more in terms of days and 91 days seems like a lot longer then 13 weeks!
I also have been feeling a lot more hormonal the past week or so. I had a huge cry on Sunday just about everything I have been worried about and it felt good to just let things out, but I hate that I wake up feeling like that again today! I am not a big cryer.
Well that's all I can think of for now! Getting excited for my showers in just under a month. I am so thankful for the people who have offered to throw them. I have really great people in my life! :)
Wow, you are getting close! I'm SO excited for you! I totally understand what you mean about being scared. I was TERRIFIED of the idea of taking a baby home and being responsible for her care. One thing that helped me during this time of anxiety was reading books about breastfeeding and infant care. I also signed up for a couple of classes at the hospital during my 3rd tri that taught the basics of labor & birth, infant care & etc. But it really is amazing how when the baby comes your instincts kick in and you just know what to do for your newborn. You will do just fine! And you can always call me if you need a fellow mommy-friend to talk to. :)
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