Friday, April 29, 2011
So the giveaway. It is a necklace and some earrings. I made both of them, they are so cute though! I really think whoever wins them will love them. If you can't tell the earrings are purple on the bottom.
So leave a comment to enter, I will pick a winner on Sunday at 6PM MST! Good luck! :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
So, in horrible news, my jeans no longer fit. Man I cannot believe this, but I am back in my Lane Bryant jeans and I just want to CRY. Its weird because I am only about 10 pounds heavier then I was, but I am not fitting in clothes very easy anymore...
But in GREAT news! Be on the lookout for my giveaway. And this not just for infertiles, its ANYONE who reads my blog, this will just be a fun thing, not infertility specific. I am probably going to start doing these more regularly, so its a great reason to read my blog! :) So, look for it tomorrow! Wohoooo! :)
Monday, April 25, 2011
As I sit here in the middle of all these people I don't know, I intentionally avoid eye contact with everyone. An inner dialogue rages on in my mind. I have heard this dialogue thousands of times before. It always goes something like this:
"You don't belong here."
"You know they look at you different."
"You have nothing in common with these people."
Inevitably someone recognizes I am new here. As they make their way over to me, I feel my suit of armor latch into place, especially protecting my heart. Its been damaged before, so the armor around it is very thick.
After the normal pleasantries of where we live, where we are from, and our names, the conversation, like always become more pointed and probing questions into our personal life.
"How long have you been married?"
"No, but we are hoping soon."
"Oh just relax, and it will happen."
There it is. The unsolicited advice. The usually well intentioned, but uneducated advice.
In my perfect world, there would be nothing wrong with screaming at them something like this:
"Did you know I have a disease that prevents my body from ovulating? Did you know I have to constantly work on ovulating? Something your body does all on its own, and you don't even have to think about it? That you would NOT be relaxed if you were in my position, that you would be far from it? And you are telling me in all seven years that I have been begging and pleading the universe to send me my own little bundle of joy that I have never been relaxed?? And I wonder, would you say these words to someone who had cancer, a heart problem or someone with diabetes? Just relax and this disease will take care of itself?? No...."
But instead I screw on my fake smile and just nod until they inevitably drift back into the crowd. The crowd where I feel an outcast because I can't join in the conversations of delivery and the trials of raising a child. No. I do not belong here.
I use this story to educate other out there. If someone you meet says something similar to you, the best advice is always just to show support and love. How different would this story have ended if this person had said
"I hope its soon for you too."
Unsolicited advice, no matter the subject, is NEVER welcome. And its never received well.
* Infertility affects approximately 10% of the population.
* Only 15 states have a state mandate requiring insurance companies to cover infertility claims. Whereas most insurances will cover a mother giving birth, for all her appointments and delivery. * Every year thousands of these couples spend THOUSANDS of dollars on treatments that may yield no child.
* There are far reaching consequences to not building a family (in any way), such as who will take care of you when you are old?? These are questions that run through even the young and childless minds at times.
* Couples with infertility feel isolated, alone, and broken most of the time. Even by friends and family. They need to be included the same way as they would be if they had children.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Anyways, its just crazy that my body did what it was supposed to! That is so rare with PCOS...normally it just doesn't want to do anything. My Dr also ran some blood tests on me for blood clotting issues, because apparently I forgot to tell him about my sister! But he had me start also on baby Aspirin just to be sure that is not a problem.
So prayers are appreciated. I hope its our turn for a healthy sticky baby. But at least this cycle was a good one, no matter the outcome. :)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
So, I got a positive yesterday, I am inclined to believe it because of feelings in my uterus area, sore chest, and its around the time my eggs usually are ready to be triggered. Usually I would be having a Doctor's appointment today which is CD 14, but he is closed today, so I will be going in tomorrow. As far as I am concerned based on what I am feeling, we won't be having an IUI this cycle. I really think its to late, he's going to see I already ovulated and we missed our chance. I could be wrong and it wouldn't be the first or the last time, but I have really learned to listen to my body...
I am really okay if that is how it turns out, I mean normally I need the trigger shot to get the eggs out because they just don't want to come out. But, it does make me feel like I could be wasting time and money with this doctor since timing is everything with infertility treatments. This has been a really weird cycle anyway, because I didn't have a true AF. It was mostly just spotting. And there is a part of me that wonders if I ended up Oing earlier, because I have been feeling really weird lately. I remember when I was pregnant last year, one of the first things I remember feeling was that there was like a rock in my uterus...and I am feeling that again....but it also could just be my diet has been HORRIBLE lately...
Anyhow, guess we will see what the Doctor says tomorrow. I will be sure to update when I know what's going on. :)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Well that's a little bit about me. Hopefully it helps you all to get to know me better. I will try to do some of these a little more often, just so you can all get to know me besides knowing I'm an infertile.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
There is hope, but really more anxiety then anything else.
CD 1 is just about here...I will keep you all posted. :)