Tuesday, July 26, 2011

It Never Stops

I have been surprised about how much infertility is still on my mind. Of course it's not in the forefront of my mind because of course the pregnancy has taken that spot. But I still wonder (and worry) will I be infertile after this pregnancy? Will I be able to make this baby a big brother? I really don't want to have an only child. Growing up with siblings, I wouldn't trade them for anything. I love having that connection with a handful of people. I loved having big brother's and a big sister. So I know I want this baby to have that too.
But what if I can't? What if this is it? And even just thinking of going through all the worries and stress of treatments makes me want to gag. It's just interesting the effects of infertility never stop. I am SO grateful for this baby. I'm so thankful that it was somewhat "easy" for me to get pregnant in the end. But I still feel infertile. I don't think that feeling ever goes away....

Saturday, July 23, 2011

It's a....

Yep that is right, we are expecting a little bundle of joy in BLUE! I am so shocked (as I really thought it was a girl), but SO happy and surprised! I can't wait to meet him (I still have SO long to go!!) and hold him and kiss him. Having a boy will be so much fun!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Best Part of the Day!!

Is when we listen to the heartbeat in the morning. I love listening to it. I love that it sounds like the baby is moving around in there, and that the heart beat is nice and strong. I could listen to it for hours!! The doppler was the best idea ever! It has really eased my mind that the baby is okay!
Still no flutters yet (except ones that MAY have been baby, too hard to tell right now). Can't wait until I get to that part. :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Greatest Gift...

So. First off, my appointment was short and kind of disappointing. We didn't get an ultrasound, which I was so sad about! He felt my uterus, said it was measuring great, right under my belly button, and listened to the baby's heart beat and said it was very strong. Then said in a month we will try to find out the gender! So at least I know I will have one then!!!
I have been thinking about my journey with infertility a lot over the past couple of weeks. I can't believe that my journey seems to have ended the way it has. There were so many times I doubted I would ever be pregnant...but yet here I am. I was so sure after my miscarriage last year, that I would have a complicated pregnancy. So far, perfection. But I have to say the greatest gift that infertility gave me, is that everyday I am in awe of this little one growing inside of me. Even though I complain, a little on Facebook, mostly to DH, I realize how lucky I am. I really believe that if I had been able to get pregnant way back when I wanted to, this baby would not mean as much to me or DH as it does. And now I can see God's hand all the way through things that have happened, including my miscarriage.
Anyhow, enough of the heavy! Some things going on right now are cravings that come and go! I wanted Nacho Cheese Doritos so bad...then nope, they sounded disgusting. But of course horrible food always sounds good. Such as McDonald.s french fries...yep. Can't get enough of those. I have been trying hard to squeeze a vegetable or two in a day. But man this baby knows what it wants and has really messed with my taste buds.
I was really hoping to share a picture of the baby, but I want to share something so here is a picture of me at 14 weeks....still don't have a cute baby bump, I am questioning if I ever will thanks to lovely PCOS (blah!). I just look fat pregnant...lol. Oh well! I will take it!

Friday, July 8, 2011


So I am officially in the 2nd Trimester! Wohoo! I just can't believe it half the time. But I am so grateful.
This week has been one of the best so far. I haven't been AS tired, I get small bursts of energy, which have helped me start nesting, lol. I have started deep cleaning our room and everything, even though I still have months to go. But I figure it will take awhile to get everything done that I would like to, and who knows what the next months will bring. I still get sick every once in awhile. But no more throwing up which has been so nice. I mean overall I am starting to feel like myself again.
I often wonder why I'm not as emotional as pregnant women are notorious for being. DH would disagree with that statement and say that I get irritated at him a lot more easy, which in some ways are probably true. But no unexpected bawling or anything. Maybe it comes later in pregnancy when all the hormones really get going? Guess we will see.
I don't think I have felt any flutters yet, I thought I did a few days ago, but now I think it was just other things going on. I got a nice winter insulated stomach so it could be awhile. But I can't wait for that, and for the kicks to get started. I know it will be amazing.
And lastly, since I have been feeling so good, of course my nerves just shot up this week. Because that is what happened last time, I stopped feeling pregnant completely. So this morning I had DH pull the doppler out, and we tried it and found it and it was LOUD! It was like the baby was saying YES MOM. I am STILL HERE. LOL. When we have tried it before it hasn't shown up in the display because it was way in the background, so you had to hold it up to your ear to hear it. But this morning it was loud and right there, and the display was ranging between high 150s to low 160s. Oh it was BEAUTIFUL!!! My baby is growing, and this is really happening. And everything is good TODAY!
I hope I have some decent pictures of the baby to post after my next ultrasound. The last ones you can't see hardly anything except a spine here, a hand and foot there...so hopefully I will get a good one on Wednesday.
Thank you again and again for all those praying for us, and keeping us in your thoughts. They are appreciated and felt. Believe me.

Saturday, July 2, 2011


So just some things on my mind. First off, it seems I am finally getting a LITTLE better. Mind you little is the word here. I still get hit with the puke bug every so often, but my energy levels are starting to pick up, which have hit such a low I never thought it possible that I could be that tired all the time! But I am finally getting to some things that have needed to be done around here.
Also I got to see the baby again yesterday. It's just amazing that this baby is growing inside of me at such a fast rate, but really there is no physical sign of it! I can't wait until I feel the kicks and rolls and all of that fun stuff. Yesterday it was huddled against my placenta and just didn't want to give us a good shot. But that is okay. I just hope when DH finally gets to come on the 13th that the baby is a little active. Maybe I will cheat and drink a little juice before we go. :)
I can't believe that in a few days I will officially be in the 2nd trimester. I just can't say enough how amazed I am that this pregnancy has gone so smoothly. The last one was just chaos...I never felt morning sickness or any of the other symptoms in early pregnancy which should have been a giveaway that something was up. It's been a year since we lost the first baby, and sometimes I just can't believe that here I sit pregnant again with a so far healthy baby growing inside of me. It's just amazing. God is just so good...
I haven't really had any growing pains this week, which is surprising considering how big my uterus has gotten in just over a week. (I love how I talk about these parts of the body like its an arm or a finger...hahaha the joys of infertility). We are also able to find the heartbeat on the doppler a ton easier. I still don't think we are getting an accurate reading on the numbers because its in the background and you have to hold the doppler up to your ear to hear. Its a lot easier to have someone else help you though I have found, and DH enjoys listening to it too.
Anyhow, just ramblings for the day. I hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend! No major plans here, just spending time with DH which is VERY needed! I'm grateful to live in America. I know I take it for granted, but I really do feel so blessed to live my life the way I see fit! Happy 4th of July! :)