I have come to that place where other infertiles go. A place where you feel in limbo. I don't feel like I belong outside the infertile world...but in essence I do, because,
I am pregnant.
For me, its an odd feeling. On the one hand I cannot believe this is happening to me. After 7 years of praying, hoping, wishing, and all the other millions of emotions that have come with infertility, it feels weird to be standing on the other side.
I know this is a bitter pill for some to swallow. I understand some will feel happy for me, but will also feel the sadness and the green monster come out. And that's okay. If you don't follow my blog anymore, that's okay. I understand. Do what is best for you!
So the specifics are, I am due January 10th, 2012. I am almost 11 weeks, and so far the pregnancy has gone seamlessly. Remember the blog from awhile ago where I was freaking out over that cycle, and not getting the IUI's and all that? Well, my body did what it was supposed to. I am SHOCKED still at times when I think that I got pregnant so easily...I also feel very guilty.
I am still terrified after my last pregnancy. I have already passed the time of the last loss. But, I have tasted the bitter...so I know better then to make any concrete plans. But I have a good feeling about this one.
I have had an ultrasound every week, thanks to a understanding doctor, but now won't be going in until 14 weeks which is terrifying.
I have been sick with this pregnancy. I had one day of not being able to keep anything down. But mostly just feel queasy. It still hasn't left yet, its gotten better the closer I have gotten to 12 weeks, but threw up just yesterday!
So, from here on out this blog will move from infertility to pregnant after infertility. I still understand the infertile world. I still feel part of it. I still want to support others going through that valley. But I also want to relish in the fact that I have been blessed to come out of it. And ask for prayers that this baby is healthy and strong.
I so appreciate all the support and love I have gotten on this blog. Its been so overwhelming and wonderful! I pray and hope for those still struggling with infertility/or childlessness that you are able to carry that burden, and that those who are still in the process get their dream.