...and everyday by the scriptures. Yesterday especially though. I was reading in 2 Nephi 9:39 "...to be spiritually-minded is life eternal."
This has really spoken to me over the last couple of days. Its true. When I focus on eternal principles, it makes things that are not going good or making my life harder, not so bad. Sure they still hurt, they are still hard. But, with eternal perspective they don't seem as bad, God's timetable comes into view and I remember why I was sent here to Earth. Having children is part of that, I'm not going to deny it. BUT its not the most important part. The most important to me is summed up in Jenny Philips song Valiant Faith. Part of it says "I want to return to His arms unashamed."
God knows in my heart there is a desperation to become a mother. Specifically a Mother who knows her Savior and Heavenly Father and has strong desires to teach any children sent to her home this every day.
So what more can I do? Exactly what I am doing, but turning all outcomes to Heavenly Father...and trusting that His vision sees all. Even when I question this huge "stumbling block" in my life, remembering His timetable, His vision, His desire for me to return to His arms, also. Its hard to hand over trust to someone. But, if you have to, why not to the one who sees the beginning AND the end?
So, about what is happening right now. I'm waiting to see if I ovulate. I got a positive ovulation strip yesterday. But I feel like I'm having a repeat of February. All the signs of Ovulation, but it doesn't happen for some reason. Honestly I think its stress. I need to learn to relax and let things come. I am just such a controller. Stress is THE worst thing for trying to have a baby...and its THE one thing that I am the best at!
So we will see what happens at my ultrasound tomorrow. Hopefully its not more cysts or a huge cyst. I hate those things with a passion!
I also just wanted to say, I know there are many of you out there praying for us, and I want to say thank you for those prayers...we have felt them. We have been uplifted by them...they have been a huge blessing in our life. So thank you! We love you all! :)