Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Weather Matches My Mood... know one of those days (weeks...months...) where you want to crawl in a hole and pull the hole in behind you? That's me. Finding out people are pregnant...finding out people are having a life. Mine is done...stalled. And I'm asking myself, why am I still here? 6 and a half years of infertility...3 years of being stuck living with family...when does it end? Feels like all of my life is just an endless round of garbage.
Yeah. I probably need to get treated for depression. But I am SO sick of doctors...dentists...anything and everything to do with medical/health professionals I have given myself permission to take some time off.
But seriously. My life is at a stand still. At least when we were in our own place I had a home to be proud of. Something to call mine. Now its just living off the mercy of others. And no matter what I/we try to do, it doesn't get any better. The money situation doesn't change. The car situation doesn't change. The place we have to live doesn't change...
I'm getting so sick of it, that I just am ready to be done. If I'm not learning, changing, growing, progressing anyway, what's the point? Isn't that why I am here?
Life sucks. Period. End of story.

1 comment:

  1. I wish I could say something to make it all better. I've felt the same way before. Promise that you won't wait too long to get some help if you need it. I went through a stage of depression and it was the hardest time of my life. Reaching out was the best thing I ever did. I waited way too long to make that call. Please don't wait too long. Here is my story, if you are interested.

    I am sending prayers your way. Please contact me privately if you need to. I am happy to help however you need me.