Friday, January 8, 2010

The Truth that is ME today....

1- I am currently watching Ghost Whisperer between two sleeping cats.

2- I cried at the Doctor's office today. Not pretty, and embarrassing.

3- I am scared about having surgery in a week and a half.

4- I see people from High School, and their families are growing, and it makes me want to cry more.

5- I am so grateful for my husband, I couldn't ask for a more wonderful spouse to go through this hard experience with.

6- I am feeling like their are so many obstacles in my way towards being a mom. At times I wonder if I should give up.

7- I found out today my medication isn't working, but I have to stay on it, for reasons that I don't completely understand.

8- I'm trying hard to be happy with my life. I made a resolution to try harder in my marriage, and so far so good. I have changed in the past 6 years, infertility has made me more depressed and sad. Its time to tell myself its okay to enjoy and love life even though I'm not a mom.

7- Some mom's and pregnant ladies REALLY bug me...

8- I am really grateful for the Dr I was referred to. (Thanks Katie!) Even though at times I get frustrated with him, he has been really good at explaining everything and trying to be aggressive.

9- I am exhausted, I haven't been sleeping good. Partly due to one of my kitties, and partly due to all the things I have on my mind.

10- I think its really weird I had my first cancer scare at 26...grateful it came out negative, but it just seems so young...

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad Dr. Johnson is working out for you! I saw you are having surgery in a couple of weeks & you will be in my prayers. I know exactly what you are going through right now! My 18 year old nephew just informed us that he got his girlfriend of 2 months "knocked up". Yes that is how he put it! They are both high school drop-outs, don't have jobs & refuse to give the baby up for adoption. I know how frustrating it is to see everyone having babies! I have lost so many friends over the past 2 years because I don't "fit in". I really hate my ward because of all the judgemental things that have been said. Sorry I dumped all this on you but you are about the only person that understands. I'll keep you in my prayers that you will find the peace you need in you & your husband life.