The Christmas blues. They come every year, and turn us into big Grinch's. This holiday is SO focused on children, how could we not hurt? How could we not wish it was our own children's squeal of delight we heard on Christmas morning? Instead most of us sleep in, wake up sometime in the late morning, make some breakfast, and shed a few tears. We eventually make our way to some presents, bought for us by the one person on this sad journey with us.
Christmas really is a hard time of year for those of us without children. It brings into focus the past year, full of failure and loneliness. And we look at another year of the same thing. Sure, its easy to try to feel some hope, "maybe next year will be different" we tell ourselves. But next December will roll around and it will be the same thing again. Especially for those of us who are out of the running for having our own children.
This time of year makes it so we can no longer hide and bury our feelings. This year I have heard some stories of friend's husbands who are seriously grieving being childless. After years of coping, and being strong for their wives, these husbands can no longer keep pushing their feelings down. My heart goes out to these dear women. And I can't help but wonder if I will be walking in their shoes in 10 or 15 years. I love my husband dearly but it can be said of him that he is strong for me. I don't know what I would do without him, I take advantage of his strength. But I worry about his emotional health. I worry that his grief will slap him right in the face someday down the road.
If you are reading this and know someone who is childless this Christmas. Give them extra hugs, extra time, extra understanding. Its a hard time of year. All you have to say is "I love you, and I think about you, and pray for you."
I'll have a blue Christmas, that's certain...