I have just wanted this year to end. For some reason I think it will leave the grief of losing our baby in the past. Probably not true, but the new year is always refreshing for me. One reason for this is we are going to buckle down and start training hard for our 5K in May. I have gained somewhere around 5 pounds and about 1 inch on every measurement I take. Oi. NOT good for PCOS. I am almost positive it has messed my LH up greatly, so I'm not even sure this cycle is even going to be a complete one.
DH and I are at odds about where to go from here. I am DESPERATE to be pg, and for me that means bypassing reason. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, he is right that we need some time off. But I don't care! I want that baby in my arms like yesterday! But he is right, and I am really trying to give in to reason, but its hard. I do really want to lose weight. I know that it has helped with LH so I have to assume if I lose more, I will be sitting pretty. Ideally I would like to lose about 50 more pounds. So I'm thinking if we try hard we could be there about summer or end of summer. Maybe not though, PCOS is a fickle little disease. Sometimes it releases its grip sometimes it won't. But I know that I would be happier at that weight, I would be able to do more things and I would have a healthier pregnancy. And I want to have a cute little round belly, and at this point I don't see that happening with my gigantic stomach.
Anyways, I have several goals set aside for 2011, and I am hoping to met all of them. They aren't anything major. But they will be important things to me!
Anyways, Merry Christmas to all my blog readers, and a Happy New Year. I hope that truly all your wishes come true!!! :)
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